Just this one time, don’t be like Dolly.

We have seen the airplane safety announcement so many times that we tune out. We can even mouth along with the flight attendant’s speech the golden rule of aviation survival: Put your own mask on first before assisting others. 

The logic makes sense. If you pass out from lack of oxygen, you are useless to the person next to you. 

But let’s be honest. Would you actually do it? 

Imagine, you are sitting on a flight, between your aging mother and your child. The cabin decompresses. The yellow masks drop. Ninety-nine percent of women I know would immediately mask their child, then their mother and if still breathing, themselves. We would choose our own internal mom-logic rather than follow this documented science-driven survival protocol. 

Why is it so hard to give ourselves permission to take care of our own health at the same level as we care for others? Not even more, but the same…

I went to a women's mental health talk recently, and one prominent expert noted just how many women will set aside their own medical, physical, and mental healthcare because they are "too busy" caring for others. No one is immune to this condition. Not even icons. 

We can all agree that Dolly Parton was an absolute treasure. She brought light to millions. She’s a brilliant entertainer, a sharp businesswoman, and an all-around outstanding human being to everyone on the planet…except, herself. Dolly spoke publicly about delaying her own critical healthcare because she was so consumed with caring for her ill husband. 

My own grandmother had a similar story. She had a full-blown heart attack in a doctor’s office while waiting for my grandfather to have his routine checkup. She was patiently sitting in the office, actively experiencing a cardiac event, and probably thinking, "Well, I can't interrupt Vic’s appointment, that would be rude." 

I know every single one of you reading this has your own version of this story. 

Maybe you have young kids. Maybe you are managing elderly parents. Maybe you are the woman who, when asked to fill in as a spare for the local tennis team, feels a cold sweat break out because saying "no" feels like a crime against humanity. 

What does "putting your mask on first" actually look like in the real world? 

It means identifying what you actually need to thrive, and then protecting it with a ferocity that borders on unreasonable. Sometimes this is getting that pesky 2 letter word out of your mouth and mastering the dark art of saying “no.” 

Sometimes, this means protecting your time for you and in my world, that means your physical strength. Getting strong (building the muscle, bone density, and stamina required to carry the literal and metaphorical weight of your life) requires time and consistency. There is no shortcut. 

If you want to be capable of caring for the people you love and have them not worry about you. You Need to matter as much to you as they do. 

From a physical perspective, I need you to carve out time in your week, put a giant moat around it, fill that moat with lasers and hungry alligators, and protect it as if your life depends on it. Because as my grandmother and Dolly Parton have proven, it kind of does. 

So this week, I am going to say something I never thought I’d say: Just this one time, don’t be like Dolly. Protect your time. No one else is going to do it for you.